Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I woke up this morning with some Big Stuff to process in my bean, so I'm letting Edison take over again for a couple days. I'll keep you posted. Teaser: Who ever thought I'd burn out on politics? So, while I think, Edison will rail:

"With these draft articles it is probably most appropriate that the reader get to know Edison Rathbane, or at least come to understand his mindset and some of his thinking processes. He did not spring from the womb like Mwindo (actually from his mother’s middle finger… if one is capable of such conception.) also known as, “Little Baby Just Born, He Walks!”. http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Mi-Ni/Mwindo.html . If he had, there wouldn’t be much hope for humanity. Edison Rathbane was raised by wolves in New York, educated at the University of Heartbreak Ridge, forged by demons of the veritous business venues of the urbanities, mellowed in an oak cask of Amontillado, and mentored by raindogs at midnight. Eventually he emigrated to the foothills of the White Mountains, where he lives alone. He has written numerous “things” or textbooks, grants, and technical writings under a different name, but that’s mostly academic. The beginnings of “The Economic Warrior” are done his later years of decline, during which he has decided to stop cutting his hair and to let the seasons strike him flush in the face. One who wears sunscreen denies the sun the power to change his skin.

"Dr. Rathbane has worked in academe (Philosophy, Forensics in a couple departments, Economics, Business Management, and The Horror! The Horror! Of Marketing), as a stone mason, an economic analyst, a building contractor, a financial salesman, a tool and form inventor, a business consultant, a farmer, a fishmonger, and has even dabbled in the Cabal of lawyering. He no longer takes thought for the morrow.

"6 Matthew 34“Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought of the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

"And thus we return to Cash Register Mania?

"A couple readers have suggested that their greatest frustration in BigBoxLand lies with the self-check-out features of the big box stores, and the gross reliance of the stores therein. Yep, it’s true. If you can rely on a machine to do the job of a simple human, you can save a lot of money on staffing and all of the associated costs. I have a fairly brief lecture on all of the costs associated with having simple employees. My former student, reader, and friend Kris will probably recall it well… along with the crazy assignment using worksheets on Workers Compensation Insurance Worksheets that I purloined from the State of Wisconsin for the advanced course in Labor Economics. That was a class where the University scheduled a small group to be taught in a lecture hall that was under renovation at the time. We met where we wanted, which included the library, the outdoors, or the student union where we all smoked copious quantities of cigarettes and dined upon our creatively invented Cardiac Burgers. These included a big beef thing, bacon, cheese, mayonnaise, and in my case a few pickles. Call me Dr. Health-Kick? I can go into details at some other point, if desired, but will let Kris address it if she is so inclined, and her memory serves. Si id memini non potes, scitula dirumpens a te collenata est?

"Computers and self check-out lines are cheaper than people. You can also unplug and replace them at less cost then by doing the same with flesh and blood. They come pre-trained, don’t squawk, and never bring up the “union” word that puts WallyWorld in a conniption fit. I’ll talk about infiltrating WallyWorld in the next installment, but suffice it so say that if you hide under the storage racks in the unloading area when it’s empty and sing “Look For the Union Label” like Tiny Tim, all of the cameras go on, and management fires-up like a crematorium at Christmas time.

"Shoppers only like these Self Check-Out kiosks because there are fairly few real register trained people, and the lines are really long if you want to meet one in person. Elvis hasn’t left the building, but there’s a long line to meet him. This is really common at HomeBoyDepot and WholesaleBJ’sRUs . Worry Not. These can be deeply amusing as well if you take time for fun and hijinx. http://www.answers.com/topic/high-jinks . In BigBoxLand Uber Alles, there is no honor system. The bigboxers want to save money and maximize profit, but they don’t trust you. Big brother IS watching from control central, and even if they are aren’t at the console with Captain Kirk, you are at least on camera and recorded. If you try to rip-them-off, you will probably get caught. So just don’t go there girlfriend. There’s fun to be had though. I’ll explain, but first a disclaimer.

"In these little writings you are being encouraged to learn about, and have some fun with the big box mentality, but I am very specifically not encouraging you to break the law in any way. Ich lehre euch den √úbermenschen, but I don’t want to get anyone in trouble."

Zarathrustra speaks next.

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