Here's an e-mail I received this morning. And here is my response. And yes, I don't care who sent it. In this case it was someone I love and would defend with my life- except for the politics.
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I wa nt my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol c ar has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U. S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals .
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You da man!!!
I gotta take issue with this.
First of all, the people who walk over the border from Mexico, don't just "walk" over the border from Mexico to the US. It's hard to get here. Many of those people die. Many more die waiting on the other side to get here because even though life isn't all that easy here, it's better than it is in Mexico. (Something for which we in the US should and can be proud.)
Second, the jobs those people take here in the US are not jobs that American citizens are interested in taking, if they are illegals. I wonder why we are so busy picking on Mexicans who come here to pick lettuce or put on roofs, working 12 hour days, but we invite Indians and Chinese into our country to take high-paying computer-industry jobs our college grads should be getting? (Except that we are too busy luring those people in rather than making sure our own kids get high quality college educations.)
Third, when did this country get so mean that we can't allow others in here to live and work? We are a nation of immigrants. Would the pilgrims have survived here without the help of the Indians, who subsequently the whites booted onto the worst real estate in the country, after herding them there like lower animals? I think not. And the history of immigration continues from there.
Further, what is the problem with learning more than one language? We should all be learning Chinese because one day the fact we don't teach it in our schools could come back to bite our butts as a nation. We haven't been the superpower forever. The rise of globalism began in the 15th century with- you got it- Spain and Portugal. And those people spoke- that's right, Spanish and Portuguese.
Finally, go ahead and fly the American flag with pride, from your rooftop in the US or in Mexico. And do it on Cinco de mayo here in a Californian school, and as Ebert suggested, don't be alarmed when a Muslim kid flies the hammer and sickle next door on the 4th of July. Not only Americans can be mean.
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