I hate money.

I have been a depressed and completely stressed little girl the past several days. Before I go any further, I would like to say that the FFM is way cool; he has been very supportive during this trial and will be an excellent First Man in Aubergine House when we get there. Supporting the Prez has got to be serious business.

So, you know that I have been struggling with the meanness and greed and all that of the American Way specifically, and we humans in general. Then, several days ago I received a credit card bill in which I was charged an over-the-limit fee and my rate had been raised from a reasonable 4.2% to an exhorbitant 28.99%. On top of that, my monthly minimum payment, because of all this, was figured at $572! I freaked.

Having grown up in a blue collar working class household with parents who had never learned to handle money- or seemed much to care about the repercussions of screwing up- I have mostly been pretty diligent all my life with the ole cash. We have a hate-hate relationship, money and me. I recognize that the barter system is barely alive any more and that debt is the common course of action for those who prefer to survive in these times.

I admit, I have had my troubles. I've always wanted to have more money so I could do things like travel and take classes and- well, that's about it, really. But, I have been unwilling to even touch the corporate ladder, much less play the game and climb it. Thus, my hate-hate relationship with money. However, I do take my debt to others who extend credit very seriously. So, you can imagine that I pretty much lost it when I got that bill the other day.

And it, along with our injustice system, academic political power plays and the like have basically worn me down over the past several days so that I actually slept in past 7 this morning. I ached all over; not much was fun; that kind of thing. And I dreaded having to deal with that bill this morning when doing my weekly budget magic. I felt pretty confident that my magic wand wasn't going to work very well on this one.

So, I began by calling in to get my balance and all that, to see if the extra payment I'd mailed on return from the rainy camping trip I took with my brother had cleared. And was I surprised! The little automated voice (not nearly as interesting as that on the FFM's new dollar mobile phone toy he picked up yesterday) told me that I had available credit and that my payment had been received and that I only owed $13 this month! Then, as soon as the voice stopped talking, a real live guy got on the other end of the phone to ask if he could help me! I explained why I had called and said it sounded like everything had been fixed from that end, and he assured me that was the case, that all those charges had been rescinded and that I am in the clear.

Gawd, it's like a big redemption scenario at the end of some film noire!

So, now the depression is practically gone, and that just makes me mad at myself too, for being so emotionally tied to the evil dollar bill. But I'll just coast on this day with lighter footing and more energy and be thankful. Whew. The world remains a mysterious and not that bad place to be for a while.