Grassroots Campaign for President of the United States of America

Here's my slogan: Vote for Lisa, cool as the BBC.

(Look; the BBC far surpasses the American media in challenging journalism: in scope, in depth, and in excellent reporter monikers. Do they get to make those up when they're hired?)

Here's my commitment: I will offer a stance on any issue proposed, seriously. And when I get into the White House, which needs a paint job, I will follow through, or place Uncy in my cabinet to do that part. He practically offered last week when he said he would like to go into business with me, that I would be "hellacious and unstoppable." I take that as an endorsement.

(And I will hold a contest to choose the next color of the ____ House. The prize will be a night in the Lincoln Bedroom. Disclaimer: If you win, expect to be filmed.)

Some issues on which I will not deviate, proving I am not wishy-washy, or waffly, or flip-floppy, or whatever else you want to call that trait that those of little principle possess:

1) Whether or not we ought to take care of the inhumanitarianism we ignore in our own nation instead of spending an inordinate amount of time and money on offering our version of freedom to other countries. (Read: It is absolutely inexcusable that we allow for a hungry and homeless population in this country while sending our own citizens off to kill and die in other places.)

2) Whether or not we should make young people and their families, pretty much regardless of income, pay ridiculous sums of money to get college educations so they can better contribute to this economy, then further contribute to those with the cash already by paying back the loans forever and ever, whether or not they actually are able to secure the positions that are supposed to exist for them when they graduate with that degree. (Uh-uh, we should not.)

3) Whether or not we ought to be doing things for and with each other in our own communities, rather than depending on a big government made up of all sorts of people who don't even know us yet claim they do, from a vantage point far far away in more ways than one, to take care of our ills.

Dang, I just shot myself out of a job, didn't I? Well, if I haven't yet, let me add that I am smart, hardworking, energetic, passionate, sociable- enjoy and care about people- and think that with at least four years in the _____ House (which, believe me, and those who know me will corroborate, will likely hurt), I think those of us who care can turn things up on end and make a statement that speaks for more than half the people of this country (even though many of them may not be paying attention.)

And, as you can see, I look good in a tiara, just in case I have to dress up- which would be the most fun part of the deal.