Aubergine House

The second comment about my campaign for President of the USA was a request by my boss, Tim, that a new color for the White House be chosen quickly because he was having trouble saying "_____ House." I am pleased to report that the contest has ended. (Not only have I proven my ability to inspire people to rise to action- there were three entries within hours- but to listen and respond to the public, two traits that I believe are pretty handy for a President to possess- though we may have forgotten over the last several years.)

In case Obama loses the race (which he certainly will, should I win), I would like to carry on the message of change that he has used to imbue the American public with a sense of hope for the future- and that other candidates have echoed, knowing full well that the American public really would like to be seen and heard and considered a part of the American population that benefits from the government that is necessary to some degree in order to prevent greedy people from traipsing all over people who are less greedy or malicious in order to further their own gain. After all, we all pay our taxes, right?

We could use an image that the world sees on a regular basis to convey that we, the people of the USA ("U" stands for "united"), intend to require a big change in the behavior of those we elect to represent us, since for the most we part are underrepresented by them; that we are ready to throw out some stale old traditions like primarily letting older white men with a lot of money stand in for us when most of us aren't older white men with a lot of money and we know these older white men with a lot of money have little to no idea what it is really like to be a "regular" American (except that they, like most of us, probably watch far more TV than is necessary, and they probably aren't always tuned in to C-Span.)

(Note that I am employing a Presidential Strategy that, unfortunately I have pretty much always excelled at and ought to drop: rambling in run-on sentences. This is why I will let RobRohrTM be my Aubergine House Spokesman. Or at least my speech writer, though I will insist on editing myself.)

Yes, that's right; the contest has ended, and the initial change that will illustrate the colorful future to come is that the White House recently called ______ House will be painted and renamed accordingly, Aubergine House. (The length of the name makes it sound better to drop the article before, and this will make it immeasurably easier for my foreign students to send me grammatically correct letters and post cards while I reside there.)

There were two entries for Pink House, but I chose to go with Aubergine House for a number of reasons that I will lay out here, being a transparent future President: 1) I thought it might be a bit much for the public to buy a female President living in a house painted a color traditionally seen as female in this country, and that I might appear "weaker"- yes, in 2008! I think we all know there are still some terribly outdated notions in people's heads, even in this century- than I actually am; 2) another outdated notion some people still carry is that "pink" associates with "commie" and "commies" are bad; 3) aubergine is a preferred color for me. Frankly, I would rather live in an Aubergine House than a pink one, and I am the one who will have to live there for at least 4 years. Orlando knows how much I like aubergine, so he wins the contest. Since the night in the Lincoln Bedroom prize is a moot point for him, as he will be First Man, I am happy to let both Cyndie and Barry, the other contestants, have their turn. This is a detail I'm fairly certain I will remember when the time comes.

If you do not like the French connotation of "aubergine," feel free to call the Presidential residence Eggplant House, but I think that sounds a little strange.

Thanks for playing. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a little lighter time in this country, and took care of our people, too?

p.s. If Uncy or RobRohrTM or someone else with creativity, computer savvy- and time- would like to contribute to this blog and the campaign by turning a picture of the White House into one of Aubergine House and sending it to be posted, I'd be grateful.